Wept

I wept.

For days, the tears would fall without warning.

For hours, I could stare into a blank abyss.

I missed our talks.

Your words, I longed to hear a bit more of.

I missed your hugs.

I wanted to feel your arms around me for another moment.

I missed your smile.

I missed your laugh.

I wanted to see your joy illuminate the room one more time.

Just one more.

But I knew–

I knew that never again in this life-time would I be able to experience such a blessing.

 

So I wept.

My heart ached.

To what seemed like no end, it ached.

My whole soul seemed to be in a constant state of invisible sobbing.

My inner life seemed to be dimmed beyond belief.

No longer was my mind filled with life, but instead, a hollow numb had overcome it.

Sure, I smiled. I may have even laughed at times.

But those moments were fleeting.

And the sorrow engulfed me once again.

 

Then I realized it.

I knew it all along, but I finally acknowledged it.

I knew where you were.

I even knew what you were doing.

 

You had entered the promised land.

You had recieved the ultimate blessing.

You knew absolute happiness.

And the only pain you would experience was seeing us cry.

So I dried my eyes.

I lifted my head.

And I smiled.

 

The gap in my heart would never be filled.

Your role in my life would never be re-casted.

Your being would never be interchanged.

But my sorrow and despair was replaced with relief and serenity.

My dark and blank was washed awasy with light and life.

I knew that never in this life-time would we meet again.

But forever in eternity we could be.

And I wept no more.

I smiled.